When do you feel most afraid,

When my body tells me, when a situation arises, usually in the face of unknown circumstances, that produce an emotional response and cognitive pattern associated with what is otherwise called fear.

Now am I afraid of that fear, no, cause why would or should we be afraid of a naturally occurring event. It would be ,to me at least, like being afraid of a sun rise, the rain falling,living and dieing.

You will pardon me here if I have disappointed anyone I know we make alot, oh a whole heck of alot out of this “fear” thing that we feel and I am certainly not trying to degrade or reduce its importance or any who dwell overly on it as significance, because I do have respect for it. I mean, I have what I hope is a healthy respect for it because it can come in handy at times say when you are coming to the edge of that cliff, or driving, lets say, some what to fast on country road all snowed covered in the middle of a dark foggy night.

So to me fear has purposes but that is far as I let it go and I use it as the tool it is to assist me to advance through a situation not keep from going around it, although in the case of the before mentioned cliff it may be acceptable.

Now I know for some this naturally occurring self element is of great trouble to them, as if they are psychologically allergic to it and once started causes a negative feed back loop that does not free them from it but only increases it magnitude. Which while I can say I have experienced, and did not find pleasurable, I did find my through by removing myself, my person from the situation. I did it by taking some time and observed of myself not necessarily” as the fear” but as if someone “watching fear”. In doing so I was able to reach a threshold and was able to, say as in a horror movie, to observe the fear response as a part of myself based largely from watching the actor,me, be afraid.

Of course this in and of itself has caused me some problems because when you view fear instead of being fear people look at you well, fearfully. You know when you are riding on the back of your buddies motorcycle and it stalls in the middle of a four lane highway with the traffic pouring towards as if flood gates have opened, he’s slamming the clutch, the traffic is getting closer with no place for you to go, and as you look ,no place for the any of the traffic to make lane changes to avoid you when….. suddenly…. out of no where….. the clutch engages and you do a front end lift across the whole four lanes while the traffic speeds past you.

Now the part that gets people is when you get off your buddies bike and say that was awesome I have never been that scarred in my life. Did you feel that wasn’t that the coolest, and of course it isn’t, it was telling you, the fear, be careful the situation looks challenging.

Of course the other problem is those who get addicted to it, those who get off on producing circumstances to assist others to have fear responses because they enjoy it or some how believe it can control others. Well it is their turn now because, I will not stop, nor be concerned, nor cease to pursue such individuals with whatever devices are needed.

You see I will make them smile, make them think the topic is about whatever I want just like they do and before they know it I will have removed however is required this shallow and degrading use of what should be a healthy emotion. What? Don’t believe me, just look into the screen, right there between the letters I am already coming at you …..

So yes you better run,… but unlike before there is no place left for you to hide. So that when I find you and I WILL FIND YOU it may not look pretty… but it will read like a work of art you cannot erase from your memory.

Thanks
J.M.